So, I'm all moved into the new place in Frederick, and the port has been forwarded. In order to set up the URL forwarding address, I have to pay $15 a year. Considering how much fun everyone is having, I think it's a worthy expense.
Due to a little banking snafu, the server will be up tomorrow. Check back here for updates.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Nick: Dry Trails
Justin is lost. Hopelessly. He died a few minutes ago, and through his innate sense of misdirection got himself lost.
In the middle of the desert.
In the middle of the night.
With monsters all around.
In every. Single. Direction.
Naturally, my self-absorbed sense of bravado and heroism kicks in, and I boastfully claim that not only would I find him, but I would bring him back to our house safely.
I know where he is... sort of. Only a couple hundred blocks from the homestead. Surely this wouldn't pose a problem for a manly man of my manly convictions.
So, I scurry off with sword in hand and smugness in tow. I ask Justin to describe his surroundings.
"Um. Cacti."
"Can you... give me anything else?"
"No, not really. How about we just meet up at the top of the tallest part of the desert?"
This seems like a good plan. I scan the horizon and quickly find a very large dune, and climb up it. I do not see Justin. A brilliant idea dawns on me. I'll make a huge dirt tower, and line it with torches. He won't be able to miss it, unless something weird happens or -
"...dude, I'm dead. I'm back at the spawn point."
Damn. Oh well. Now to get back... down... from this...
Damn.
How do I get down from here, again? No big deal. I'll just wait for daybreak, and then dig down. All the monsters will be dead by then. Besides, it's pretty nice from up here.
Day comes, and I decide to take a peek down at the bottom of the OH MY LORD SHIT FUCK IN HEAVEN
Of course, during the design of my master plan, I neglected to remember that Creepers and Spiders don't die during the day. They have some sort of genetic immunity to sunlight, one that makes them illogically immune to the solar radiation. THAT MAKES NO SENSE, THEY ARE MONSTERS, SUNLIGHT SHOULD KILL THEM, EVERYONE WHO'S ANYONE KNOWS THAT.
I sit here, cursing the creator of the game and my stupid stupidness as every daylight-loving monster in the entire 70,000 kilometer desert has stumbled over to my position in curiosity and probable hunger for flesh.
Wait! I forgot! I have a bow and arrow! That will do the trick!
My fifteen arrows are only able to pick off two Creepers. In addition to their sun invincibility and their ability to explode on command, they apparently have skin made of titanium alloy or something. In other words, they are nature's perfect killing machine.
Ok, Nick. You know what you have to do.
I jump. I hear gruesome hissing and explosions. The bottom of the tower is destroyed, but I am still alive... barely.
I make it to the house. Night is breaking already. Matt calls out to me:
"OH MY GOD I'M LOST, SOMEONE FIND ME."
In the middle of the desert.
In the middle of the night.
With monsters all around.
In every. Single. Direction.
Naturally, my self-absorbed sense of bravado and heroism kicks in, and I boastfully claim that not only would I find him, but I would bring him back to our house safely.
I know where he is... sort of. Only a couple hundred blocks from the homestead. Surely this wouldn't pose a problem for a manly man of my manly convictions.
So, I scurry off with sword in hand and smugness in tow. I ask Justin to describe his surroundings.
"Um. Cacti."
"Can you... give me anything else?"
"No, not really. How about we just meet up at the top of the tallest part of the desert?"
This seems like a good plan. I scan the horizon and quickly find a very large dune, and climb up it. I do not see Justin. A brilliant idea dawns on me. I'll make a huge dirt tower, and line it with torches. He won't be able to miss it, unless something weird happens or -
"...dude, I'm dead. I'm back at the spawn point."
Damn. Oh well. Now to get back... down... from this...
Damn.
How do I get down from here, again? No big deal. I'll just wait for daybreak, and then dig down. All the monsters will be dead by then. Besides, it's pretty nice from up here.
Day comes, and I decide to take a peek down at the bottom of the OH MY LORD SHIT FUCK IN HEAVEN
Of course, during the design of my master plan, I neglected to remember that Creepers and Spiders don't die during the day. They have some sort of genetic immunity to sunlight, one that makes them illogically immune to the solar radiation. THAT MAKES NO SENSE, THEY ARE MONSTERS, SUNLIGHT SHOULD KILL THEM, EVERYONE WHO'S ANYONE KNOWS THAT.
I sit here, cursing the creator of the game and my stupid stupidness as every daylight-loving monster in the entire 70,000 kilometer desert has stumbled over to my position in curiosity and probable hunger for flesh.
Wait! I forgot! I have a bow and arrow! That will do the trick!
My fifteen arrows are only able to pick off two Creepers. In addition to their sun invincibility and their ability to explode on command, they apparently have skin made of titanium alloy or something. In other words, they are nature's perfect killing machine.
Ok, Nick. You know what you have to do.
I jump. I hear gruesome hissing and explosions. The bottom of the tower is destroyed, but I am still alive... barely.
I make it to the house. Night is breaking already. Matt calls out to me:
"OH MY GOD I'M LOST, SOMEONE FIND ME."
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Nick: Awakenings
"MY GOD MATT LOOK BEHIND--"
...blam. Too late.
Blocks of cobblestone and my former friend shower down around me in a hellish display of unmitigated evil.
Time for mourning, however, has to be rather brief - within seconds, another two Creepers fall from the roof of the cavern, seemingly out of nowhere, their dead eyes staring right into my cuboidal soul. As I ready my sword, a terrifying thought enters my mind.
"Wait... how the hell do I get out of here, again?"
Ever since we inexplicably landed on this shoreline, Matt has had a single, driving desire - to dig, to dig deep, to dig endlessly deep - regardless of the horrors that subtle warnings, like, "every common fantasy novel ever", promise us lurks down beneath the surface. I could never quite place his motivation, but to get in his way would be to get in the way of a driven man. Driven, perhaps, in the way an insane person is driven to eat pine cones, but driven nonetheless.
Days of mining had led Matt to discover a vast underground cave network. I finally found some time between refinishing the roof of our fort to head up the exploration mission with him. After seemingly endless miles of stone steps and creepy noises, what we found was pretty breathtaking:
This was our greatest mistake; taking time to admire the works of Nature. Everyone knows that usually ends up with someone dead. Someone like Matt.
After the "incident", I find myself alone, hopelessly lost, and running from the embodiment of pure evil. I have very little health, and no savory pork chops to delight in. My sword is two feather dustings away from shattering, and I'm dangerously low on torches and luck.
In other words, I'm enjoying a normal night outside of the fort.
In a way, I deserve this.
...blam. Too late.
Blocks of cobblestone and my former friend shower down around me in a hellish display of unmitigated evil.
Time for mourning, however, has to be rather brief - within seconds, another two Creepers fall from the roof of the cavern, seemingly out of nowhere, their dead eyes staring right into my cuboidal soul. As I ready my sword, a terrifying thought enters my mind.
"Wait... how the hell do I get out of here, again?"
Ever since we inexplicably landed on this shoreline, Matt has had a single, driving desire - to dig, to dig deep, to dig endlessly deep - regardless of the horrors that subtle warnings, like, "every common fantasy novel ever", promise us lurks down beneath the surface. I could never quite place his motivation, but to get in his way would be to get in the way of a driven man. Driven, perhaps, in the way an insane person is driven to eat pine cones, but driven nonetheless.
Days of mining had led Matt to discover a vast underground cave network. I finally found some time between refinishing the roof of our fort to head up the exploration mission with him. After seemingly endless miles of stone steps and creepy noises, what we found was pretty breathtaking:
This was our greatest mistake; taking time to admire the works of Nature. Everyone knows that usually ends up with someone dead. Someone like Matt.
After the "incident", I find myself alone, hopelessly lost, and running from the embodiment of pure evil. I have very little health, and no savory pork chops to delight in. My sword is two feather dustings away from shattering, and I'm dangerously low on torches and luck.
In other words, I'm enjoying a normal night outside of the fort.
In a way, I deserve this.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)